30 September 2009

Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets 30 Sept 2009



This lampshade chef had a very long day at the hotel kitchen... - Photo by Tracy Hunter @ Flickr

From Denny: Had some fun today and put up a post chock full of funny cooking quotes! When it comes to cooking there are a variety of opinions. Here's a "chef's table" sampling of the cheeky quote menu:

* In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

* Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. - Harriet Van Horne

* The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

* When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

* Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. - G. K. Chesterson (1874-1936)

* Recipe For Chili: Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile, broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it. - Allan Shivers, former governor of Texas

* I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

* Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

* In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. - Jose Simon

For more of Cheeky Quote Day, go here! :)

29 September 2009

Ouch AND Outrageous: Funny Scary Man Photos



Viagra trials, looking for volunteers...




Male fashion show, showing off...




He's your date for tonight, girls!

28 September 2009

More Political Cartoons 28 September 2009

From Denny: There never seems to be enough room in a post for all the funny cartoons of the week, enjoy!








27 September 2009

This Weeks Editorial Cartoons 27 September 2009

From Denny: Well, this has been an eventful week! Looks like I will have to carry over the cartoon posting for tomorrow too as there are so many! Right now cartoonists are still taking stabs at the racists in this country, health care reform, Big Business and Big Banks, the Afghanistan War and the lack of civil discourse when it comes to solving America's problems.



The public needs the President to keep arm twisting any health care reform opposition. Just this week on Twitter there is a guy who claims to be a Marine and put up a story about how he doesn't want state run health care, advising everyone to reject it. So, I tweeted him with "...uh, your health care is provided by the state - why not for the rest of us?" Hmmmm... no reply. Gee, I wonder why. One suspicion is that it's a health care lobbyist or Republican war room account: "Do ya think?"

Enjoy these talented thought-provoking cartoonists:
























In this last cartoon the President is depicted in his never-ending Decency Offensive that mean-spirited people find abusive. Talk about screwed up priorities. I thought I'd never see the day when kindness and decency would be so vociferously rejected as an evil. It really does make a person wonder just how much dementia is happening in America as none of this excessive bad attitude over trivial things makes any other sense than to call it mental illness or shriveling brains due to aging...

26 September 2009

Awww Video: Go, Baby, Go! Baby Dancing with Beyonce

From Denny: This baby is too cute! He's just dancing away in sync with Beyonce. As a musician you know your music is good when little kids love it. It's the best compliment! He keeps trying to perform the dance moves but his muscles aren't quite developed yet to do what he wants. At the rate this kid is teaching himself he will probably be an excellent dancer by the time he is only five years old. This video will get you grinning! He reminds us to keep the joy in our lives.

25 September 2009

Music Video: Thats What Love is About, Band from Utah

From Denny: Friend Mystic Dave - all the way across the country out in Utah - filmed a favorite band singing a really mellow song to end your day on a good note - That's What Love is About. For more of his music and video choices, go here.

24 September 2009

Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets! 24 Sept 2009



From Denny: Make sure you collect your work week laughs of funny quotes over at The Social Poets! I've been wrestling with my Twitter account for several months now and it's been slowing down my daily posting on time. Along the way of building a new account I've found a lot of funny quotes on Twitter to give you some grins! For your dose of cheeky quotes, go here.

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

23 September 2009

Ouch Funny Video: Funny Speech Flub,

From Denny: Funny speech flub was a wild one! Come on, you never tire of watching exploding watermelons or funny crazy cat videos... Why go to all the trouble of exploding a watermelon? You have to be really bored. The host commenting on the show for the day is entertaining. Check out the captions on the cat photos; you have to read fast to catch them on the run.

22 September 2009

3 Funny Quotes About Human Nature



Photo by snuzzy @ flickr

From Denny: While I was setting up a new account on Twitter now called DennyLyon7 (the old one - warriorlight - got messed up from putting a badge of support on my avatar.

Note to self: Never put a badge of support on your avatar ever again. Write this 1,000 times on the blackboard or digital equivalent thereof. It was a lemonade badge to support kids with cancer. No good deed goes unpunished. :)

So, while I was laughing at myself (and groaning about all the tedious tech work for the past week this has required) I thought I'd fish around for some funny quotes about human nature so you could laugh with me! Even the dog is laughing...

Quotes

* Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Oscar Wilde

* All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken

And my absolute favorite:

* Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage

21 September 2009

10 Funny Cute Cat Quotes and Cat Cartoon



From Denny: What is cute about these cat quotes is they say more about us than the cats, enjoy! Keep a grin the rest of the work week. :)

Quotes

* A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. - William Ralph Inge

* A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys. - Barbara Holland

* After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. - Charlotte Gray

* Cat lovers can readily be identified. Their clothes always look old and well used. Their sheets look like bath towels and their bath towels look like a collection of knitting mistakes. - Eric Gurney

* Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off. - Michael Nelson

* Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. - Paul Gray

* God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion. - Fernand Mery

* Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. - Gary Smith

* I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine had me trained in two days. - Bill Dana

* I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but his or her entertainment value. - Anonymous

20 September 2009

Video: Fun Campy Video Version of Song 'Do You Love Me' From Dirty Dancing Movie

From Denny: This is pretty funny, a campy little video with an easy rock song to enjoy. I was looking at Patrick Swayze dance videos, none of which could be embedded, but ran across this video using one of the Dirty Dancing songs "Do You Love Me?! (Now that I can Dance)" crossed with a music video visual. It's a bit odd and enjoyable. You go, girl, Xena warrior! :)

19 September 2009

This Weeks Editorial Cartoons 19 September 2009

From Denny: Oops! China "got tariffed" on their tires by the USA to try and protect at least a few of our remaining manufacturers not driven out of business in America.



Then it's on to The Bad Behavior Club from bad sportsmanship to mean-spirited awards ceremony hissing to political screaming at a dignified event.



Of course, we are all affected by and frustrated with big banks refusing to lend us the money our bailout provided them to the credit card companies feeing us to death for no reason.







Then there's the usual suspects concerning health care reform







*** Make sure you check out Dennys Global Politics for the latest political stories about Iran and more this week, go here.

*** Usually, I park these editorial cartoons at The Social Poets on Saturday mornings. So, if I forget to share over here just know you can find them over at the The Social Poets. Thanks for visiting!

18 September 2009

Awww Video: Making a Difference - Shelter Dogs Learn New Tricks

From Denny: Definitely qualifies as an Awwww video! :) Great work these people are doing to convince the public to rescue the 4 million dogs euthanized every year and turn them into great pets.

"An animal trainer in Chicago runs a theatre performance group that demonstrates how shelter dogs loved and trained by their owners make splendid pets."

17 September 2009

Photos: Funny Food Flags From International Food Festival

From Denny: The International Food Festival held in Sydney, Australia this September 8th decided to create food flags for several countries. Thanks to toxel for posting these funnies.

You have to take a look at these creative offerings they are so clever and amusing! You will also leave hungry... :)



Brazil



Australia



France



Greece



Italy



India



Japan



Lebanon



South Korea



Spain



Switzerland



Vietnam

16 September 2009

Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets! 16 September 2009



Photo by *L*u*z*a* @ flickr

From Denny: Here's an idea of what Cheeky Quote Day is like over at The Social Poets, enjoy!

***

Since so much is up in the air with the economy worldwide, and my audience is an international one (BTW, thank you everyone for your great support!), I thought I’d put up some quotes about retirement. After all, we all are dreaming about that “one day” of what we would like to do without anyone telling us it can’t be done!

While I was driving all day Monday out of town on sales calls I saw a lot of travel trailers and motor homes towing SUVs. I sure wondered where they were going and what they were going to do when they got there. I’ve been seeing those happy people motoring down the road for several months now and it sure got my curiosity up and turned my mind to the subject of retirement.

The first comedian from the past that came to mind concerning retirement was George Burns. He was quite the character and well loved in America. As he aged he made a new career out of standing on stage with an unlit cigar, a sly grin, and cracked jokes in his understated manner until his late nineties. He was in show business all his life beginning in Vaudeville.

George Burns isn’t the only comedian to craft a whole routine around the subject of retirement. The following are all kinds of perspectives about what it is like to retire from your job – or what you thought it might be like to retire! :) Get a grin and think good thoughts for your future.

Quotes

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. - George Burns

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. – Anonymous

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. - Gene Perret

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. - Gene Perret

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. - Gene Perret

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. - Gene Perret

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income. - Gene Perret

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. - Abe Lemons

The money's no better in retirement but the hours are! - Anonymous

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. - Ella Harris

I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps. - Merri Brownworth

I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension! – Anonymous

Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it. - Abigail Charleson

Retirement: World's longest coffee break. – Anonymous

Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself. - Hartman Jule

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. – Anonymous

Life begins at retirement. – Anonymous

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money. – Anonymous

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. - Robert Half

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. - J. Lubbock

When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired. – Anonymous

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. - George Foreman, prize fighter

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball. - Gene Perret

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller, comedian

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin, actor, comedian, singer

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. - Malcolm Forbes

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. - Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, cartoonist

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service. - Harry Mahtar

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. - Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

Retire from work, but not from life. - M.K. Soni

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Asquith

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. - Ernest Hemingway, writer

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Anonymous

In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. – Anonymous

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever." - Gene Perret

Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. - Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You

*** Comedy writer Gene Perret has been writing television comedy since the 1960’s. For more about him, go here.

Have a great work week, everyone! Keep your head down and your attitude looking up! You never know when you will get to retire and add some cheeky quotes of your own to the funny category of life…

News and Dance Videos: Actor Patrick Swayze Passes Away

From Denny: Well, we all knew it was coming as pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly forms of cancer. It was a miracle he lived as long as he did after diagnosis. Most patients don't make it past three months; Swayze soldiered on for another two years which is quite amazing.





I always enjoyed his dancing and he was a great guy, loved by his fellow actors as much as by the public. Here are some of the headlines about him:

Film heartthrob Patrick Swayze dies of cancer at 57

Appreciation: Patrick Swayze's Sexy Film Career

'The View' talks Swayze, Swift and Gosselin

Photo gallery of Swayze by Life Magazine

Jennifer Grey: I Remember Being in Patrick Swayze's Arms for the movie Dirty Dancing



To watch the rest of the group dance, of course, the profit makers disabled all the Swayze dance videos, so go to this YouTube link.

Patrick Swayze danced his way through life, into our hearts, made us laugh, gave us a lot of joy, and danced on into Heaven. Rest in Peace and our prayers are with your wife and family...

15 September 2009

Video: Comedian Bill Maher on Republican Think Tanks

From Denny: Today I'm in the mood for a little Bill Maher. His most recent video does not seem to be up on YouTube yet and I've never been much for just linking a video you can't watch right away without running off to yet open another window on yet another web site - such an inconvenience and time waster.

That said, I guess I'll leave the link anyway after this video in case you are in the mood to hear what he has to say about pushing President Obama along to getting tougher - and meaner - with the a$$hole Republicans who are only interested in getting attention and not running a world government with respect.




Here's the link to The Huffington Post Bill Maher video on the latest dust-up with Joe Wilson the Liar and how Maher thinks Obama needs to handle these screamers:

The Huffington Post Bill Maher video on Obama

14 September 2009

Funny Video: Bride Laughing Loud at the Altar During Vows

From Denny: Just found this hilarious true video of a bride laughing so hard at the altar she almost fell over when they were trying to say their vows. The laughter is contagious! Laughter IS the best medicine!

13 September 2009

Weird News: Strangest Pick-Up Line Known to Mankind

From Denny: This fool, Stephfon Bennett, with two other guys robbed a couple at their home this week. Bennett, a not very smart 20 year old guy, returns to the robbed home.



He decides he took a liking to this woman, Diana Martinez, that he just robbed:



Bennett proceeds to ask Martinez if she has a boyfriend (remember the guy he just robbed two hours ago in their home???) and then asks her to go out with him.

That has to take the prize on the weirdest pick-up line known to mankind - or this guy's idea of off-kilter romance!

Of course, Martinez was a smart woman. She recognized the robber and told her cousin to call 911. The police picked up Bennett but the two other robbers are still at large.

For the full news story at Columbus, Ohio's 10TV, go here.

12 September 2009

Weird News Video: Middle Aged Guy Puts Elderly Parents for Sale on Craigslist

From Denny: There's nothing like putting your parents up for sale to get the conversation started like this guy did! This news story sounds like a tutorial on how to do it. What started as a fun idea snowballed into a sensation. I can only imagine what his parents told their son off camera ... :)

11 September 2009

Weird News Video: Fried Butter, No Kidding

From Denny: Just when you thought there was nothing new under the sun and nothing more weird to deep fat fry, like Twinkies or fried pickles, this guy decides to fry butter, yes, butter!

10 September 2009

Video: Waddling Beer Bandit

From Denny: Watching Oddball from Keith Olbermann I got to see some news from my own state of Louisiana. A woman steals a case of beer from a convenience store, wedging it between her legs and waddling out of the store. You have to see this desperation for "a cold one." I wonder what brand of beer it was? They could always use this in one of their beer commercials...

09 September 2009

Its Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets!



From Denny: It's Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets and today I'm featuring another early American entertainer who was a big hit during the dreary Depression years: actress Mae West.

The woman was known for being a bit saucy and downright risque for her time period. She was a child actress in Vaudeville who grew up to write her own comedic material and star in many a Hollywood movie during the 1930's.

To read more about her and enjoy many more rib-tickling quotes from her and a couple of short videos from her movies, go check out Cheeky Quote Day, here.

3 Quotes From Mae West

* I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

* Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

* Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

For Cheeky Quote Day featuring Mae West, go here.

Weird News Video: Guy Rams Car into Store, Steals Sex Toy

From Denny: This guy must have been on drugs or wanted some sex really really REALLY bad! :) Watch this fool wreck his car, cause $20,000 worth of damage to the store and actually not get caught. Makes a person wonder just which sex toy he came after that meant that much to him. Definitely goes down in the weird news annals of all time...

08 September 2009

Video: Watching the Skies for UFOs

From Denny: NBC's The Today Show did this interesting segment about UFO's. Of course, it covers from the whacky cultural fun to the serious endeavors as documented by world governments.

As a kid growing up in the intelligence community I remember all the adults talking about this subject endlessly: what they had heard from pilots' eye witness accounts - as well as the mathematicians and scientists speculating as to the percentages of other intelligent life. I guess at some point in human history we will have to deal with the meeting of alien species.

Of course, if you take a look at ancient cave drawings, Egyptian hieroglyphs and the mountain top airstrip like earth drawings in Peru it does give you pause, wondering if humanity has already met and friended people from other worlds.

Rest assured, the SETI project set up by co-founder of Microsoft, is still listening to the universe for signs that company might be coming...

07 September 2009

Video: Honest, Officer, No Gun, Look, I Will Strip Dwon

From Denny: Can you believe this criminal? He was chased by the police and stopped. Then the guy got out of his car and proceeds to strip off his clothes to prove he wasn't armed. Unbelievable. Just when you think you've seen it all for the weird corner...

06 September 2009

Funny Video: Rapping Swine Flu Doc

From Denny: This is a really cool doctor rapping away about swine flu for a PSA ad competition to catch the attention of the nation's kids during this flu season. Pretty clever, enjoy! He sure has my vote! :)

04 September 2009

Video: Rock Climber Moons the Town

From Denny: This is a funny news story about a rock climber "mooning" an entire town and getting away with it because it's "art."

02 September 2009

Cheeky Quote Day! at The Social Poets 2 Sept 2009



From Denny: It's Cheeky Quote Day! over at The Social Poets! To enjoy some really great funny quotes and a short bio on one of America's funniest men in history, Will Rogers, go here.

Blogger Followers and Google Connect Gadgets Erasing People



From Denny: I've contacted Blogger several times and no response for the past two almost three months this has been going on. Apparently, there are hundreds of bloggers on blogspot with the same issue and yet there are others who have no problems.

Thinking it might be the placement of ads on the sidebar, I moved them to other places on the blog. When that didn't work, I just removed many ads. That didn't work either. Tried other bright ideas and none of them worked.

In total frustration, just removed the offending gadgets that are not working right. Can I tell you that I'm not happy with Blogger and Google right now over what should be a simple fix? :) It's rude to allow the erasing of other people like they don't exist. People want that connection to you as a blogger and the free marketing feature of their sites connected too.

What's the temporary solution until these disappearing faces on the gadgets get resolved? The next best solution is that even if you are not a blogger you can have your face and site featured on my other gadgets that do seem to have their act together: MyBlogLog, BlogCatalog and FuelMyBlog. I'll try and get more featured gadgets by joining some more blog directories. Then there's Twitter Counter too for advancing your Twitter followers' count and marketing your site.

Thanks for your support, everyone, and sorry for this inconvenience.

01 September 2009

5 Funny Quotes That Spit on Death



From Denny: Death is a subject few people in America want to deal with and yet it happens to us all - well, almost all, maybe some of us are part of the Highlander's Immortal Clan. Time will tell on that one! :)

Death is like this celebrity no one wants to meet. (Hmmm... sounds like one of those quotable quotes your own spirit speaks out loud when you just know something is really true...)

This past week the news coverage has been heavy on the passing of a political American icon, Senator Ted Kennedy. He was fully prepared for death as he had his faith and relationship with God. People who are spiritually connected do well when their time comes.

People who are more connected only to religion and only on the mental, not heart, level don't do well. The heart really is the center of our spirits. Yet, it's amazing how easily we can hide the truth from ourselves - until a significant event like the passing of a celebrity or a beloved family member opens the door to our heart to take some inventory.

This has been a rough week of spiritual shake-up and awakening for millions of people in America. People are examining their own lives as to their current path and how they would like to alter their course to something far more positive. Observing Ted Kennedy's life in review from the shameful to the triumphant gives us all pause to say, "What's next?"

I thought folks might like a little emotional cool down from all the intensity this past week. Included today are some funny witty quotes about how others perceived Death, that unwelcome odious guy no one wants to invite to their house. To me, there is nothing better than putting your face into the wind and pushing forward into the scary unknown, only to discover incredible new wonders and be delightfully amazed at newly found spiritual awareness. It also helps to laugh a lot along the way.

Quotes

* Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. - W. Somerset Maugham, British playwright, 1874 - 1965

* Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz, short story writer and novelist, 1894 - 1985

* I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain, writer and American humorist, 1835 - 1910

* I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow, American lawyer, 1857 - 1938

* Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. - Edward W. Howe, American writer
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