This Weeks Funny Late Night Show Quips - 5 Apr 2010

From Denny: Nothing like America and Obama getting bird bombed from Karzai over in Afghanistan. You know, he's that guy who takes us for granted he still is alive and is pocketing too much of our money for his own gain? Yeah, that guy. He used to be President Bush's puppet government, now he's the rebel puppet against President Obama. This cartoon says it all:

See Cartoons by Cartoon by Jimmy Margulies - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

The comedians were catching up this week on Easter and the Spring political sex scandals and they gave the weird Republicans no quarter. Check out the full post like every Monday over at The Social Poets: Monday Roundup of Late Night Comedy - 5 Apr 2010. Here's an excerpt of fun!


From David Letterman:


Census time, ladies and gentlemen. President Obama filled out his Census. I felt bad for the guy. Like he needs another reminder that he lives with his mother-in-law.

Here's a fascinating story. The Republican National Committee got together and said, 'You know, boys, things are going so well for us here lately, let's have a party.' So they said, 'Well, yeah, but we don't want to pay for it.' And they said: 'No. We'll get the Republican National Committee to pay for it — money that we get from donations and contributions. We'll let the folks pay for it.' And everybody said, 'Great, what do we do?' And they said, 'Well, let's go to Los Angeles to a sex club.' And they said, 'Great!' So they end up there at a bondage club in Los Angeles. And I thought that makes perfect sense because Republicans love tying things up: health care, you know; climate control; financial reform.

Now here's a fascinating story. And this kind of thing happens all the time. But every time it happens, we always say, 'Whoa, here we go.' The Republican National Committee had a big party at some kind of a sex club in Los Angeles. They spent $2,000 of campaign donation money on the bill at the sex club in Los Angeles. But the guy who organized the big Republican sex party apologized on the Golf Channel, so that's good.

Pamela Anderson on 'Dancing with the Stars'. You know who else is on 'Dancing with the Stars'? Former astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Pam Anderson and Buzz Aldrin. Honest to God, it looks like a Republican ticket.

David Letterman's Top Ten Republican National Committee Excuses

10. 'We're fat, dumb, rich guys, nuff said?'
9. 'Thought 'SM' door was Sen. McCain's office'
8. 'It wasn't a sex club, just a regular club where grown men tickle each other'
7. 'Scott Brown raved about the place'
6. 'The Sheraton's meeting rooms were already booked'
5. 'I'm sorry, Ricky Martin is gay?'
4. 'Abraham Lincoln routinely spent $2,000 a night in sex clubs'
3. 'We're fat, dumb, rich guys, nuff said?'
2. 'If we can't spend donor money at a sex club, the terrorists have won'
1. 'Research for pending legislation 'No Stripper Left Behind''

Did you hear about this? President Obama, big surprise visit to see the folks in Afghanistan. Did you read all about that? That's kind of exciting. It turns out he was shooting an episode of 'Undercover Boss.'



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Comics Point of View: Our Weird Politicians

From Denny: Every Monday at The Social Poets I post the latest roundup from the late night show comics. This week was brutal for Congressman Eric Massa. He was lampooned from all sides. Tiger Woods got off easy this week.

See Cartoons by Cartoon by R.J. Matson - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon

Excerpt of the quips from David Letterman:

We had a lousy audience last night. You couldn't tell if they were laughing at the jokes or if they were being tickled by New York Congressman Massa.

He admits to groping, fondling, and tickling. And I'm thinking, well, why isn't this guy governor of New York?

Massa goes on the Glenn Beck show and he says that he was having a birthday party tickling his staff. And he said one guy couldn't breathe, he was tickling him so hard. And then Dick Cheney said, 'Well, we should have done that at Gitmo.'

So now this Congressman Eric Massa is claiming that he was bullied in a gym by Rahm Emanuel. The President's guy is bullying him in a gym, naked. And I know you are thinking to yourselves, 'Well gee, thanks a lot, Dave, for searing that image into our brains because that's something we'll carry for a long time right there.'

He admits to groping, fondling, and tickling. And I'm thinking, well, why isn't this guy governor of New York?






Here is a sampling from comic Jerry Seinfeld on his take on just who "Really?!" is this guy called Massa. The messy weird news from politician Massa just keeps on giving to the comics:






*** To view the entire hilarious rocking good post that includes lots of funny quips from Letterman, Leno, Kimmel, Fallon, video clips from Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart lampooning the GOP and Fox News, go here.


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