Funny Story: New Funny World Myth

*** Enjoy a funny story explaining the whole meaning of life and how our life spans came to be.






The World Explanation


On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."

And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span." Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

- Anonymous


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Funny: My Cats, Their Names, and What They Made Me Call Them Instead

My Cats, Their Names, and What They Made Me Call Them Instead

"In this hub:

Ah, cats (sigh)
On naming your cats
Excuse me?
His Royal Highness wants to go by something else
Our favorite cat mysteries
Kao K'o Kung
Mistaken Gender and embarassed cat
Thomasito Vincenzo

Cats are finicky creatures. We've all heard that. We've all experienced that. Cats also feel and know more than many give them credit for. Any cat lover will tell you they are as bright as they are ornery.

It's the little things in life that they choose to notice. They are opinionated, so you can be sure that you will in one way or another find out what they think about the things that matter most to them.

One thing I've learned over the years, sometimes the hard way, is that one of the keys to getting a cat to respond to you properly is giving it the right name. That comes through trial and error."

By Frieda Babbley @ HubPages, humor writer

Funny Story: The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

Guinness is good for you! Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Just received this fun email from a cousin in Kentucky. Feel free to send it along to all your friends.

Remember: Ireland's Guinness Stout and Boston's Samuel Adams Stout have CHOCOLATE in it! Drink up! :)

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers


"When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.'

Please share this with someone you care about.. I JUST DID!"

Keep smiling as you share that beer with friends!