Funny Joke From New Digg Follower

photo by mark j. sebastian

From Denny:  So, I'm checking my email updates from Digg about new followers.  Along comes this funny guy.  As his bio on the site he places this hilarious joke.  If you are a woman you are especially going to enjoy it.

Check it out:

When G-d was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side and all the females opposite. 


Then He asked, "Which of your species would like to urinate standing up?" 


Well, the males went crazy, shouting that they wanted to pee standing up. 


"Fine," says G-d, "Women get multiple orgasms."


                                  * * * 


Ain't Life grand? :)


Be sure to check out Lewis Burke as olddavidsonvil on Digg.  


My Digg hangout is Denny Lyon.  I was in the beta version of Digg and they managed to lose the account just like hundreds of others.  Anyway, in the process of rebuilding the account back up to previous levels.  Be glad for you to sign on as a follower and will do the same for you!

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Outragous Category: Cancel Your Credit Cards BEFORE You Die

From Denny: As if you will have advance warning as to when you will die. Have you seen this funny email about how stupid credit card companies are these days? Whether it's a true account or not - we all have had conversations with our credit card companies that border on this lunacy! :) Maybe I should come up with an award for this. Any suggestions of what to title that award? :)

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr (Bozo Sapiens rather fits this incredible story...)

***

Now some people are really stupid!!!!

Be sure and cancel your credit cards, before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died in January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange:

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank: 'Either report her account to the fraud division, or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

(so if you have a $0 balance how can they charge late fees & charges?)

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax:

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you can just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'

(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank: 'That might help....'

Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 68.'

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'

(Priceless!!)

And you wondered why Citi Corp is going broke and needs the feds to bail them out!!


Citibank Citi Corp credit card companies bailout death fees God humor funny bizarre weird news odd outrageous obnoxious credit cards customer service banking services business financial services God humor funny

Ouch Category: I Want God's Mug!

From Denny: Since it's Sunday and all... I just love these new cartoonists I just found. If you can't see all the wonderful detail well just click on the title link to take you to their funny site.

Hint: Take a look at the coffee pot area to see the joke.

AND they offer funny wallpapers for your computer!

These Scandinavian cartoonists are from Denmark. Nice export, guys! :)