16 December 2009

Obnoxious: Santas Curmudgeon Version of The Christmas Story




Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks, Santa" - what do I hear?
The old lady bitches ‘cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a$$holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible - Those mean little sh*ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's - No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat a$$ and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year - now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!

Author Unknown - but Submitted by Bubba





*** THANKS for visiting and for more fun:

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