27 April 2010

Obnoxious Silly Mother in Law Jokes Just in Time 4 Mothers Day

From Denny: These obnoxious jokes are really just plain silly and done in good fun. The reality for me is that my mother-in-law turned out to be a fabulous friend for me - and was in my corner fighting FOR me instead of AGAINST me. Most American women are not so lucky as I was.

She died a few years ago from lung cancer - a nonsmoker no less - guess that's what you get for living in Louisiana on the Gulf of Mexico all your life - because it is affectionately known by the locals as Cancer Alley. I still miss her. Even she would have laughed at these jokes.

Everyone lift your glass and help me toast a terrific lady: Here's to you, Bonnie! Happy Mothers Day to you and many more!





Jokes and Peanut Gallery Commentary


A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.
Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this time.

The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" (think there is a bit of resentment in that family?)





Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
A: An air bag. (Hmmm...blondes are supposed to be air heads and mother-in-laws are old middle-aged wind bags - not too bad, a bit weak but somewhat amusing)





Have you heard about this woman who took her mother-in-law to the
zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool? She is now being sued by
the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles. (that's cold, man)





A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling,
it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy her?

She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?" (secretly hoping she would be electrocuted)





Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it
fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the
head and badly hurt.

Husband: Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow. (Ouch!)




Fred And Rick Were In A Pub. Fred Says To His Mate, 'My Mother-In-Law Is An Angel.'
Rick Replies, 'You're Lucky. Mine Is Still Alive.' (Australians and the Brits are chilly in more ways than one!)





Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law. (Now that's one way to look at it)





A pharmacist tells a customer, 'In order to buy arsenic you need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.' (The things people do. That's why they call them "people.")





This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night."

His buddy says, "Well then, tell me what happened."

The guy says, "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch."

She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"

I said, "Of course, you can," and shut the door.





So you want to become my son-in-law?

Not exactly. I just want to marry your daughter. (Well, at least he doesn't lie to you)





I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.





What's the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.





And since this is a cheeky humor blog - maybe we should save this one for Fathers Day? :)

Overheard:

"She's the kind of girl you'd like to bring home to mother - If
you could trust your father."


*** Make sure to pay a visit to The Mother Post for all the funny links from several other Mothers Day posts to enjoy:

Funny Mothers Day Quotes and Trivia - Cheeky Quote Day 28 Apr 2010

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