People: Here's Your Rush Job

Here's Your Rush Job, originally uploaded by The Consumerist.

Nothing like a really good graphic on the side of your company van to demonstrate your opinion about what kind of customer service you deliver!

Photo by The Consumerist @ flickr Creative Commons

People: African side of Obama Family

Obama Family, originally uploaded by Aamir Hafeez Zaidi.

From the photographer:

"Obama's family from Africa moving to Whitehouse !!

Uploaded by Aamir Hafeez Zaidi on 23 Jan 2009, 6.03AM CDT."

All Rights Reserved for this photographer.

From Denny: Let's see, if I was living in drought-ridden, starving to death Africa and had relatives in America with grocery stores over-flowing with food, well, I'd pack up and jump on the nearest moving truck going to America too!

Not Always Right (the customer)

From Denny: Found this great little site of amusing quotes from people who have worked in customer service. Read that as "dealing with the squirrelly public."

"The things people say" gives new meaning when you are in sales or do customer service... Looks like unreasonable irate fools as customers are the same all around the globe! :)

Who's Got the Power Now, part 1

From: Tech Support, Los Angeles, California

Me: “How can I help you?”

Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”

Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”

Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”

Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”

Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”

Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly misadvertised. You need to speak to...”

Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now you f***ing son of a b**** and you’ll do it right f***ing now!”

Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five year old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”

Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”

Me: “No.”

Irate Caller: “What?”

(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).

Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”

Irate Caller: “But you have to!”

Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically I could have disconnected the call already.”

Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry… can I have my refund now?”

Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”

Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f***ing ****ards are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”

Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”

Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”

Me: *click*

***

"Who's Got the Power Now, part 2

From: Auckland, New Zealand

Power company customer service person talking to customer:

Caller: “I don’t care what your little book says, put my f***ing power on!”

Me: “I can’t do that for you unless you pay your debt in full, sir.”

Caller: “Why are you being a b**** about this? Just let it slide!”

Me: “We’ve been letting it slide for months, sir. You now owe us in excess of a thousand dollars. Our rules are very clear: we are not to reconnect your power until you pay your debt.”

Caller: “F*** you! I’m going to kill you! I’m going to come to your house and kill you!”

Me: “The difference between you and me, sir, is that I know where YOU live.”

Caller: *click*"

Photo of Knotted Gun sculpture at the United Nations by David Paul Chmer @ flickr

True Story: Don't Mess with Grandpa, You Fools!

From Denny: Found this over at a Washington state online newspaper. What a blast! The old guy took down a couple of punks bent on beating him senseless when he stopped to give assistance to them on the highway. Just how old is this old man? 84 years old and one tough hombre! Like they say in Louisiana, "He pulled out a can of whoop-ass and beat 'em with it!"

I'll go ahead and quote the entire article here in case they eventually archive it without free access later. If you want to go to the newspaper site just click on the title link.

"TACOMA, Wash. -- Ted Mazetier may be a grandfather, but at 84 years old, he's still got his chops.

And two men learned that the hard way.

Mazetier was driving down South Proctor Street Wednesday night when he spotted a car on the curb and two guys standing nearby. He thought they needed help, so he stopped.

But as soon as he pulled over, the two men pounced.

"The guy comes over to my car, and unfortunately my window was open, because he cold-cocked me. I mean, just sucker-punched me. Just bam!" Mazetier said.

The punch left quite a shiner on Mazetier.

"It hurts. It hurts right now," he said.

But he wasn't about to take a beating sitting down.

You see, Mazetier is a World War II veteran who also happened to spend his entire career watching over criminals imprisoned in the U.S. penal system. In short, he can handle trouble.

"When I opened the door, he started toward me and I kicked him in the balls," he said.

When the other man charged, Mazetier put his feet up and kicked him in the belly.

"He kind of bent a little and went down. And I went around the guy and I'm in the street, and I'm waving for cars to stop and, you know, help."

The two men fled, not having gotten whatever they were looking for.

Moments later, a passerby came to Mazetier's aid. That person had happened to get a glimpse of the fleeing men, and described them to police.

"And so the next thing I know, I was in the hospital and when the cops came in the hospital - the same ones that interviewed me - they said, 'We got 'em.' And I said, 'Thank God.'" Mazetier said.

Tacoma police believe the same two men assaulted another victim earlier in the evening in the same part of town.

Mazetier is recovering, still dealing with the shiner and the shock.

"It's wrong. It's absolutely wrong," he said.

By Denise Whitaker

4 Health Articles You Might Enjoy

From Denny: I'm always finding the most interesting articles about the latest health study. Too bad there wasn't more research devoted to orphan diseases, ones that afflict a small percentage of the population. Read that as the drug companies believe they can't make big money by searching for cures for these diseases - so they do nothing. Maybe it's the role of international governments to get into the act to help the suffering sectors of humanity? What do you think?

Health is a large area to cover so if you have some suggestions of anything I might be overlooking and you want to throw out at me, please do! You can also email me: warriorspearl@gmail.com too if you like. Yes, I actually answer my own email and am not too full of myself - well, not yet, anyway...! :) (There goes that cheeky side escaping again...)

Here are a few articles you might find an interesting read:

Drink Coffee: Lower Risk of Uterine Cancer

Broccoli Sprouts May Be Germ Fighters

The Pill and Gaining Muscle

Popping a Zit Can Kill You?

Photo by left-hand @ flickr

Related articles by Zemanta

• Twin Dies of Rare Disease, Sister at Risk? (abcnews.go.com)

From This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies

Funnies: Toxic Assets and Other Wall St. Treats

Late Night

Fallon: Michelle Obama's planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy is bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food.


The Tonight Show

Leno: President Obama met with the CEOs of all the major U.S. banks. A lot of these big-bonus guys. The CEOs looked around the White House and said, "You live in this dump?"


Real Time

Maher: Treasury Secretary Tim Geither, a.k.a "Little Tim" … he broke out his big plan this week to buy up all those toxic assets that the banks are holding … and if you don't know what a toxic asset is, it's a piece of paper that's worthless now, but could be worth something some day ... the same way Confederate money could be.


Late Night

Fallon: Former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is writing a book about his role in the Bush administration during the economic crisis. It's weird. The book starts on chapter 11.


The Tonight Show

Leno: Very -- very strange incident at JFK airport in New York City today. An AIG executive going through security had to empty out all his pockets. You know what fell out? Senator Chris Dodd. Yeah.

Trivia and Oh! Genius Comments

From Denny: And now for the most unimportant Trivia you will ever read followed by Oh! Genius Comments - also completely unnecessary which is why they are termed "genius"... and are copyrighted, stupidity is brilliant and a real money-maker, agreed everyone?! ;)

Image via Wikipedia

Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.

* Talk about the downright bizarre. Enough said...

Image by Alireza Teimoury via Flickr

Did you know that a tiny gnat flaps its wings 1,000 times a second?

* This is revealed strictly on a "need to know" basis. File this into your short-term memory banks as there might be a flash test at the end of this post and you sure don't want to look stupid!

Image via Wikipedia

Did you know that beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts and white worms like fried pork rinds?

* Don't look at me! I don't dine in the same circles as these folks, so we will just have to take their word for it. Can you imagine walking down the grocery store aisle to see fried white worms in the same area as potato chips? I wonder if white worms go well with jalapeno bean dip... do I hear a lowly murmured "Yum!" out there in the cyber darkness?

Image via Wikipedia

The hum of a hummingbird comes from the super-fast beat of the wings. The smallest ones beat their wings the fastest, up to 80 times per second.

* In rush hour traffic don't you just wish you could glue a couple of these guys onto your car and "get above the fray" - arriving home at a reasonable hour? I know, I know: Dream on!

Image via Wikipedia

Some armadillos spend up to 80% of their lives sleeping or dozing.

*OK, I'm really concerned about the priorities of these researchers and why MY federal tax dollars are earmarked for these studies. C'mon, you can actually get paid to watch armadillos sleep around the clock? Sign me up for that paycheck!

4 Science Articles You Might Enjoy

From Denny: Since I have too many interests I've parked them on other blogs in addition to this one. Apparently, most people start a blog, lose interest, abandon the first one to start another blog. Not me. I just keep expanding to ADD more blogs! (totally crazy, I suppose - but hey! I'm happy...)

Anyway, articles about how the brain works, astronomy, psychology, some math and physics on basic levels is what I park over at the blog The Soul Calendar. It keeps climbing in the traffic rankings quite nicely and I happily write about whatever catches my interest for the week! Life is good!

I'm still poking around the web for children's resources for parents and science projects readers might find interesting. If you know of any sites or projects, speak up and shoot me an email at warriorspearl@gmail.com, much appreciated!

Here are a few posts you might find an interesting read:

Is My Brain Making Me Buy Things I Don't Need?

Double Amputees Shed Light on Brain's Flexibility

Robolegs Help People Walk

Hurricane-Killing, Space-Based Power Plants


NASA Photo by Image Editor @ flickr

"Island Survivor" Cartoon and More!

Image via Wikipedia

From the high-toned online magazine The New Yorker come some funny 20 second cartoons! They don't allow embedding of videos so you have to follow the links to their site.

For Island Survivor, go here.

Bad Porn Writer, go here.

Why Not To Talk on a Cell Phone and Drive, go here.

Gives New Meaning to "Gone Fishing," go here.

Video: Saturday Nite Live

Featured is celebrity blogger Angie Tempura from BitchPleeze.com reviewing movies. She definitely qualifies for the Obnoxious category. Take a look!

From This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies

Funnies: Of Socialists, Seders and Budget Cuts
(Looks like it was the Republicans fussing a lot this week...)

The Colbert Report

Colbert: I'm no fan of President Obama. He is a socialist. If I wanted to share my wealth with my friends… I'd have friends.


Saturday Night Live

Seth Meyers: President Obama on Thursday night hosted what may be the first Passover Seder in the White House. And, in a sign of the president's popularity, Elijah showed up.


The Colbert Report

Clips From Cable News:

Lou Dobbs, CNN: Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced sweeping cuts to Pentagon spending.

Sean Hannity, FOX News: Drastic cuts in the military budget.

Tamron Hall, MSNBC: Deep budget cuts.

Brian Williams, NBC: A deep slice into major U.S. weapons programs.

Colbert: [Graphic] That's right, Gates is chopping our defense budget to $513 all the way down to $534 billion.


The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: And China has proposed replacing the U.S. dollar with a global currency... the Wal-Mart gift certificate.


The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: Iowa says banning gay marriage is unconstitutional. Iowa – when this was last year's Iowa gay pride parade! [Shows lone man riding down the street on a tractor and people waving from a farm]

Cute Things Falling Asleep.org

I kid you not. This guy collected a bunch of videos of baby animals and humans, yes, really, just falling asleep. If you ever have trouble falling asleep some night just come on over here at my blog for the link or over to his blog. Trust me. You will be asleep in no time. My eye lids got heavy just after watching a few of those silly videos.

Obnoxious: Barbie Doll in Middle Age

If you haven't seen this funny photo mocking the ideal figured Barbie doll of decades past that made women's groups see red then here's your big chance!

This photo is in honor of Barbie's 50th birthday. Now tell me, what ever happened to that 17-inch waist she had with no hips and huge boobs that should have knocked her over and kept her from being able to walk?

It keeps circulating around the web and came back yet again in my email recently from a male friend who enjoyed it!

Odd Video: News of the Absurd Episode 90: Dog Ate the Cash, Math Dog, Shoplifting Siberian Husky

These dogs are my heroes! :)

Strange, Unusual, Bizarre and Funny Photos!

Reuters.com has a funny slideshow of various shots their photographers capture of the funny, strange, unusual and downright bizarre. Just click on the title link to go there.

Here's a sample of one of their oddities: an extraterrestrial doll sitting behind a woman during a sports game. Sure looks like the photographer is photographing the wrong thing! So, a Reuters photographer captures the unaware photographer missing a money shot!

Posting Problems

From Denny: Sunday, Monday and Tuesday have been difficult times to try and post anything. Not sure why. Could be global internet traffic is highest on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (Monday and Tuesday in American time zone). Could be the computer worm going around driving servers insane courtesy of hacker jerks that are probably mostly comprised of intelligence community guys from countries all over the world.

What I have managed to post has gotten scrambled from time to time. Sorry for the inconvenience. I always go back to proof read and catch the errors, usually within minutes of posting. Lightning storms in my area haven't helped that process and have been delayed. If you see something I didn't catch within a day or two, please feel free to let me know as it would be much appreciated!

Fun photo by gidibao @ flickr

Ouch Video: Turkeys Torment Mailman – true life is funniest!

Now I've have lived long enough to "see it all"!

Outrageous Video: Cat Goes on a Crime Spree

Now if this cat would just go steal back those outrageous CEO bonuses to AIG and the rest of the bailout package to greedy big businesses and banks...

Video: 90 Trillion Dollars

From our cracked friends over at South Park Studios cartoons:

Video: Conservatives Attack... with Teabags!

Apparently, the conservatives are on the move to teabag the Obama White House, drowning them on Tax Day, April 15th.

Perhaps the video should be subtitled:
Rich People Complain About Paying Their Fair Share of Taxes

OR

BTW, Let the Middle Class Folks Pay Our Way for Us!

Get ready, folks, only two days and counting until the BIG event!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Obnoxious: The Geography of a Woman and a Man

From: A Majority of Two blog

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages ... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran ...

... ruled by nuts.

Photo by zenera @ flickr

Obnoxious Question

Image by dno1967 via Flickr

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Hmmm... you haven't met my husband. His mother used to burn his toast as a kid and as an adult he LOVES it that way - while I wince, gag, hold my nose and butter it just the way he likes it...

You know you really love something when you are willing to cook badly because they actually prefer it that way! When we go out to breakfast restaurants I always instruct them to toast it three times to literally burn it. They never believe me until he sends it back for them to get it right: burned to a crisp. Probably set off a few smoke alarms too over the years...

Odd Question

Image via Wikipedia

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Obnoxious Category

Women are like cell phones

We like to be held and talked to

But push the wrong button

And you'll certainly be disconnected!

Roundup of Late Night Shows' Funnies

Barack Obama's 2009 Inauguration's Best Laughs

Colbert Report

Colbert: Barack Obama's first act as commander in chief was to bungle Chief Justice Robert's perfectly reasonable attempt to rewrite the oath of office.

Tonight Show

Leno: President Barack Obama signed an executive order calling for the closure of Guantanamo Bay within a year. You know how he can close it faster? Make it a bank, okay?

Late Night

Conan: Today was Joe Biden's first full day as vice president. Yeah, advisers say Biden spent most of the day watering his hair.

Colbert Report

Colbert: The Constitution says that the president takes office at noon on Inauguration Day, oath or no. So I'm pretty sure that means the presidency goes to whoever was on camera at noon. Jimmy, do we have that? The new president is Yo Yo Ma!


Tonight Show

Leno: The inauguration ceremony must have a tremendous impact on the rest of the world. You see this latest picture of Osama bin Laden? Look at this -- isn't that Aretha's hat? [picture of bin Laden with Aretha Franklin's inauguration hat.]

Daily Show

Reverend: When brown can stick around. When yellow will be mellow. When the red man can get ahead, man. Stewart: When blue will be allowed in too. When puce will be set loose. When we rise above the minutia of fuchsia.

Outrageous Category

Image by Nick Wilkes via Flickr

This is one of those funny emails I received recently. It's a bit crass, folks, so if you are of the delicate persuasion, then don't read any further. But hey! If you enjoy a bit of offbeat silliness with a ring of truth in it, enjoy! :)


The Why's of Men


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(Because they are plugged into a genius.)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(They don't have enough time.)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(They don't stop to ask directions.)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock. You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN 20% LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy.)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(Don't know... it never happened and probably never will in my life time. C'mon, guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.)

Follow Fellow Bloggers!

Image via Wikipedia

Most of the folks who follow this blog (THANK YOU!) and all my other blogs subscribe to feeds from feedburner, MyBlogLog and several other sources, even email. Not too many have ever used Blogger's Follower function. Maybe it's perceived as Old School?

A couple of weeks ago I dumped as many gadgets as I could from these blogs in order to speed up the page loadings. So, added back in is the area where if you are a fellow blogger on Blogspot you can follow this blog too.

(In proper circus barker loud voice) Step right up, folks! Join up on a rising popular blog! OK, now, no pushing and shoving to the head of the line like this is a 95% off sale...! :)

Seriously, thanks everyone for supporting all my blogs. It's been a blast to start them a few months ago just out of curiosity to see what would happen. Besides the fact I have learned a lot, and still learning, it's been fun to watch the blogs' traffic rankings go from the cellar skyrocketing upward toward the heavens! Every day/week lately every blog has grown by 100,000 (often more) in global traffic ranking according to the Alexa software. Pretty cool!

I have no idea where all of us are going but one thing is for sure - we will all enjoy the rocket ride! Thanks for becoming part of my growing community. You are well loved.

Obnoxious Question

Image via Wikipedia

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Life Problems & Cheeky Solutions

Life Problem: You cat yacks in the house all the time. How do you stop him?

Cheeky Solution: Put him outside!

And if he won't go quietly, give him an unsolicited full-court press bath. He will be running outside in no time!

Photo by christinejwarner @ flickr

Video: What Happens at CPAC Should Stay at CPAC

From NBC News on Obermann.

Odd Category: Talking about the politically bizarre.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Obnoxious Category: Rump Roast

What was ever weirder is that I was researching a photo to go with a recipe of, drumroll, are you ready? for Seasoned Rump Roast! I kid you not, this is what pulled up on a search with the Zemanta software for blogging posts!

Look closely! This isn't as bad as it appears after all... darn!

Photo snoozum @ flickr

Ouch! Category: The Worm Has Turned

From our humor edgy (read that as often crass) friends over at hacked.free-bsd.org. My husband thinks this cartoon qualifies for Ouch, Outrageous AND Obnoxious categories! What do you think?

Cheeky Predictions

Oh, Great American Oracle: Can you predict the three most heated topics for discussion at the G-20 political meeting of the world's minds?

American Oracle: That's an easy predicition. It will be Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. The whole world knows those names. Though occasionally controversial they are some real stand-up kinda guys.

Photo by Flashpacking Life @ flickr