Video: Independence Day Trivia

From Denny: This is well worth the watching! While I knew most of the dry facts - what I didn't know were some of the ancedotal stories that went along with those historical facts that spoke a lot to the personalities and conflicts of that time.


Watch CBS Videos Online

Independence Day Fourth of July America Thomas Jefferson George Washington Declaration of Independence people and society holidays United States CBS videos American history

Video: The Crown of Liberty

Then First Lady Nancy Reagan reopens Statue of Liberty on 100th birthday Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: This is a really good video on the updates to and the history of visiting the Statue of Liberty AND you get an inside view from the top looking out over the harbor - best video I've seen on the recent renovation project. It's nice to see we have an administration who promotes freedom instead of fear by reopening the Statue of Liberty and other federal buildings like the White House to the viewing from the public!


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CBS Statue of Liberty freedom America United States travel renovation video Obama tourism New York Manhattan Society and culture

Ouch Category: 5 Funny Unfortunate Website Names

Photo by kmevans @ flickr

From Denny: Where does Christoph find this stuff??? :) There is nothing funnier than the truth!

Here's an excerpt from his wild article:

"Here in the inquisitive offices of the Curmudgeon, we trudge through the sewage of the Internet so you, lucky readers, do not have to. We pull out just the interesting stuff, was it off, spray it with some sanitizer and bring it to you. That is how we found ourselves wearing our virtual hip waders and sloshing through AOL where we came upon the following item: these 5 unfortunately named websites, whose names say more than was intended.

It makes you wonder who made up these names in the first place and ponder how much they got paid to do it, for you or I could surely do it better. Without further jabbering from me, lets get started.



Gotahoenorth.com

Do they want us to go to Tahoe or hire a prostitute? They both can relieve tension I’m told. I’ve been to Tahoe and it is, without a doubt very nice, but this time I think I’ll go ta hoe."

For the other outrageous 5 sites he mentions, just click on the title link to take you to the article! Tell me what you think!

Ouch Category: Retired Fighter Pilot Joke

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: This is from a friend and fellow blogger over at MyBlogLog who is hilarious. Jay's site is named Daily Hogwash and is sometimes a bit edgy. You can click on the title link to take you to his blog. This is one of his latest story jokes:

"Retired Fighter Pilot

A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking of whisky and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.

I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was an F-4 Phantom pilot and a Colonel in the Arizona Air National Guard, but when they retired the Phantom program they bagged me as well. So, I learned to play the piano the GI Bill.

The barkeep wasn't too sure about this rather doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off. So, the barkeep decided to give him a try and said, "OK Give me a sample of your playing."

The Colonel staggered his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music, unlike anyone had heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

The bartender took the old fighter pilot a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played. It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall For You!" said the Colonel, after he took a long pull from the beer.

"And I wrote it myself," he said.

The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player then went on with a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping.

After he finished, the fighter pilot acknowledged the applause and told the crowd the song was called, "Big Knockers Make My Afterburner Light." He then excused himself as he stumbled and lurched to the john.

When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, "Look Colonel, the job is yours, but do you know your fly is open and your Unit is hanging out?"

"Know it?" the old fighter pilot replied, "Heck, I wrote it!""

Video: Facebook Manners and You

From Denny: The guys over at hulu.com are always stockpiling the latest silliness. Enjoy!

From The Onion: Nation Ready To Be Lied To About Economy Again

From Denny: These guys are always good for a laugh! Quoted below is their latest article about the economy. Check out their well-loved comedy site for more goodies. :)

From The Onion:

WASHINGTON—After nearly four months of frank, honest, and open dialogue about the failing economy, a weary U.S. populace announced this week that it is once again ready to be lied to about the current state of the financial system.

Tired of hearing the grim truth about their economic future, Americans demanded that the bald-faced lies resume immediately, particularly whenever politicians feel the need to divulge another terrifying problem with Wall Street, the housing market, or any one of a hundred other ticking time bombs everyone was better off not knowing about.

In addition, citizens are requesting that the phrase, "It will only get worse before it gets better," be permanently replaced with, "Things are going great. Enjoy yourselves."

"I thought I wanted a new era of transparency and accountability, but honestly, I just can't handle it," Ohio resident Nathan Pletcher said. "All I ever hear about now is how my retirement has been pushed back 15 years and how I won't be able to afford my daughter's tuition when she grows up."

"From now on, just tell me the bullshit I want to hear," Pletcher added. "Tell me my savings are okay, everybody has a job, and we're No. 1 again. Please, just lie to my face."

The national call for decreased candor began last month, after the Department of Labor released another soul-crushing report that most Americans agreed "wasn't helping anything" and "didn't need to be so specific, at least."

The report estimated that 663,000 private and public sector jobs were lost in the month of March—a revealing statistic many people found shockingly blunt. Responding to the new information, an overwhelming majority of citizens said they believe that, during these extremely uncertain times, our leaders have a responsibility to come together, sit the American people down, and lie through their teeth about everything from misappropriations of taxpayer dollars to the severity of the credit crisis.

"I don't need to be constantly reminded that the lack of regulations on Wall Street compounded with failing institutions like AIG basically plunged the world economy into a global recession," said 32-year-old office manager Alexis Harrington. "What I want is for someone to tell me with a straight face that the GDP is through the roof so that I can feel better and instantly forget what all these terms even mean."

"For the first time in my life I know who the secretary of the treasury is," Harrington continued. "And I don't like it."
Reluctantly informed citizens like Harrington have also asked that CEOs of the nation's five largest banks release a joint statement saying that the October bailout worked perfectly, normal lending has resumed, and that we're nowhere close to having the entire monetary system collapse upon itself like a house of cards.

According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 98 percent of Americans no longer appreciate President Barack Obama's attempts to break down the economic crisis into simple terms they can understand. Instead, many say the president should have the decency to insult their intelligence by using complex jargon to confuse and deceive them, perhaps even implying that the subprime mortgage fallout was just a big misunderstanding that resulted from a clerical error.

"I know when he's telling the truth, and it bothers me," recently laid-off schoolteacher Mary Hanover said of Obama. "He gets this serious expression on his face and says things like, 'This is the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.' Who needs to hear that? For Christ's sake, smile a bit and say we just found a diamond mine under Montana that's going to pay for everything. I'll believe you."

"Please, treat me like a child. Treat me like a five-year-old," Sacramento resident David Cooke, 64, wrote in a letter to Congress. "I lost everything when the Dow tanked, and I'm too old to start working again, so why punish me further by explaining in detail the clever ways these investment firms ripped me off and how they're all going to get away with it?"

Thus far, many policymakers in Washington have responded favorably to their constituents' requests, saying they respect and understand the public's need for dishonesty.

"I think we can accommodate the American people on this," Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told reporters. "Why, just today we made excellent progress with GM, whose CEO Fritz Henderson told us that every penny of federal and taxpayer funds would go directly to the construction of three new auto plants in Detroit that will create over 90,000 new jobs and spark the economic rebound we've been waiting for."

Continued Reid, "Things are looking very, very bright."

This Week's Roundup of Sunday Funnies: "Sicko" (Cinco) de Mayo, New Dem Senator

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? Suddenly Michael Jackson not so crazy, huh?

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: President Obama got exactly the gift he wanted, an adorable new senator [former Republican Sen. Arlen Specter]. I just hope he is housebroken.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad complained President Obama hasn't been returning his messages. No offense, Mahmoud, but maybe he's just not that into you.

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: Republican Sen. Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004 we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country.

Note from Denny: For the folks outside of America so you don't miss out on the inside America joke: donkey flu is a code phrase for changing your political party affliation to the Democratic Party.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Biden isn't speaking out so much lately. Today, President Obama took some action. Did you see them together? Take a look. Duct tape. Look.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: We have the first president ever who knows how to use Facebook, but his staff can't use Photoshop. Here it is, here is Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty, and look what else we can do. We can see President Obama walking on the wing.

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

Obnoxious: The Geography of a Woman and a Man

From: A Majority of Two blog

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages ... only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran ...

... ruled by nuts.

Photo by zenera @ flickr

Life Problems & Cheeky Solutions

Image by StevenM_61 via Flickr

Conversations in homes throughout the world this week:

Hearing in the news that the notoriously unstable and downright weird North Korean government is planning to launch some kind of long-range missiles it gives a person pause to question. No one believes they have peaceful intentions or are for commercial use.

Life Problem: How do you stop North Korea from lauching those missiles on April 4th?

Cheeky Answer: Nuke 'em on April 3rd. That'll teach 'em... Texas style!

Outrageous Category

OK, when was the last time you actually made a Dagwood sandwich that weighed in at over five pounds???! The author at Wikipedia stated that it fell over repeatedly as he tried to build and balance the crazy thing. Now who has a mouth large enough to chomp on this monstrosity?

Hmmm... maybe the old Saturday Night Live's Land Shark character might qualify!

Obnoxious Category

KKK member tries to get into Heaven

Picked up this cartoon somewhere along the way cruising the web. It made me laugh at how expectations are often met with reality like a pail of cold water thrown in your face. The fact that Obama is now President only makes me laugh the harder, especially since as a white kid who opposed the KKK when we first moved to Virginia all those years ago.

I still remember the death threats for speaking the truth. After they threatened me, I go so angry with them, I got louder and went on a crusade to turn everyone in my class (8th grade)away from that kind of stinking thinking that anyone else is supposed to put up with being a second class citizen in their own country.

Some people put up with bullying and others take to beating up on the bullies. At the time I was the size of a gnat but thought nothing of it to take on any injustice. There really is something to be said for mental toughness and daily perseverance.

BTW, guess what, most of them came around to my kind of thinking! And those few who didn't quit acting like jerks, at least in public. They finally started to question the hate their parents had been teaching them. They also suddenly realized there were outnumbered by people willing to speak against them and that really scared them.