Ouch Category: A Serious "Dis" to Male Diplomats

From Denny: This was found in a newspaper, photographed from the paper and put up on flickr, a real Ouch! for the male ego:

Video: Humorous Talented Unusual Dance Moves

From Denny: This dancer from So You Think You Can Dance TV show competition auditions last year was so unique and I missed his performance - until now! Wow! Awesome technique, entertaining on the edge of your seat and humorous and unbelievable! Enjoy for the weekend!

Ouch Category: Little Boys Dilemma at School

Image by Tar.Digital via Flickr

From Denny: Just received this funny OUCH email from friend Merle Ann over at HubPages! She comes up with the wildest things. It's slightly off color so if you are sensitive, stop now. Of course, for all the rest of you reprobates, this warning only makes you want to read further! :)

*****

For all of you in education, or those with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder, adult words are often taken literally...

*****

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.

He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.

She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out.

“I thought I told you to call your mom!” she said.

“I did,” he said, “And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.”

Obnoxious Category Short Joke: Two Engineering Students

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Snarky engineers joke from our friends over at Short Funny Jokes 4 U. Good one, guys! :)

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’”

The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Video: Keith Olbermann Calls Out Political Liars and Hypocrites!

From Denny: Keith Olbermann of NBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann calls out the political liars and hypocrites in Washington, D. C. on his Worse in the World segment This guy really knows how to define the bizarre truth! Get a good laugh!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Outrageous Video: Perrier Melting by Ogilvy Paris

From Denny: And you thought you had hot weather? Watch this funny video! Whew! Now this is art...

src="http://static.zemanta.com/readside/loader.js" defer="defer" type="text/javascript">

Outrageous Category: Wallpaper Cartoon about the Atomic Bomb

From Denny: Here's some wallpaper for your desktop or notebook to get a grin or some sideways glances from those snoops looking over your shoulder while you check your email!

In case the text is too small for you to read easily:

One mushroom on the hill talking to the other says, "Do you know that guy?"

And the other mushroom replies, "No, but he sure looks like an idiot!"

These cartoonists are from Denmark.

Ouch Category: I Want God's Mug!

From Denny: Since it's Sunday and all... I just love these new cartoonists I just found. If you can't see all the wonderful detail well just click on the title link to take you to their funny site.

Hint: Take a look at the coffee pot area to see the joke.

AND they offer funny wallpapers for your computer!

These Scandinavian cartoonists are from Denmark. Nice export, guys! :)

Video: The Funny Muppets Directing the Today Show

From Denny: The Muppets acting up and taking over the set of NBC's Today Show. These guys are so bad!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Odd Category: Show Me Your Belly!

From Denny: Just when you think you have heard it all, along comes a contest called "Show Me Your Belly!" for pets, of course.



Two bellies for the price of one! Photo from Krista Hendersen of boyfriend and puppy Chloe after Thanksgiving dinner.



Butter showing off her belly on the couch. At age 11 and blind, still a happy dog! Photo by Regina Gause.



Rupert in unstudied repose, belly galore. Photo by Jodie Fraser.

What would any contest be without a "beer belly"?



Balloo proudly showing off his superior beer belly. Photo by Britt Cooper.

To enter your favorite pet belly photo, just click on the title link. Show Me Your Belly! What will they think of next??? :)

Video: Family Guy Cartoon Episode

From Denny: Need a good laugh? View this silliness and your life will never be the same! :)

After Peter discovers the writing of Stephen King, he imagines his family and friends in three of King’s most famous movies.

Video: TODAY Show Bloopers

From Denny: I'm always up for a few good TV show bloopers, those seemingly perfect TV personalities flubbing their lines. Talk about the stress of always having to be perfect; look how they enjoy screwing up! Life is good!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Video: Cowboy Pulled Over for Drunk Horseback Riding

From Denny: A drunk cowboy and his horse were pulled over by six police for "drunk driving." Now there's a new twist that gave everyone downtown a good laugh for the day!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It's a Hot Day on the Farm When...

From Denny: Start off your work week with a few chuckles! Found this recently. The hot weather is unusually early here, even for Louisiana! When I ran across this it was actually funnier in context after reading the author's bio.

She is a free lance writer who moved from Florida to Tennessee and it was a complete cultural shock. Why? Deborah Tukua and her family went from living in the suburbs to living on a true working farm! Her husband knew farm living as both sides of his family were farmers.

What she did not know was, well, everything! She had to learn from the beginning. She recorded all the little pearls of wisdom the locals gave her and eventually began to publish about her country living. Below is a segment, excerpted, that appeared in The Farmer's Almanac. Just click on the title link to go to her website for free recipes, a newsletter and her country living books.

"It's a Hot Day on the Farm When...

* A bear tries to give away his fur coat.

* Crows are wearing sunglasses.

* There are sun-dried tomatoes on the vine.

* The grapes in your grape vineyard turn to raisins.

* Canada geese head for Canada to cool off.

* Turles run across the road.

* Beavers start a forest fire chewing on wood.

* Beavers break out their surf boards.

* Popcorn pops on the stalk in the field.

* You harvest sauteed onions.

* The deer send employment applications to the North Pole.

* The thermometer is sweating.

* You remove the screens from your windows for more air.

* Fish in the pond are wearing sunscreen."

Quoted from Deborah Tukua

Photo by The Pug Father @ flickr

Photo: Most Face Pierced Woman in the World

From Denny: Did you see this recently in the news? She is the most face pierced woman in the world, residing in India. Can you imagine trying to just kiss her on the cheek as a friendly greeting? Talk about a face full of metal!

I'm sure the photographer knows where she lives and has her phone number. He can get you a date with her tonite!

Word Smithing: Those Funny Sayings We Hear Every Day

Word Smithing: Those Funny Sayings We Hear Every Day

By Denny Lyon

Have you ever wondered about the origins of odd sayings?
Check out the tattooed Viking blacksmith photo! (one scary guy!) Take a look at the short article over at HubPages.

Word cloud photo by Denny Lyon

Video: Facebook Manners and You

From Denny: The guys over at hulu.com are always stockpiling the latest silliness. Enjoy!

Ouch Category: Women's Ass Study

From Denny: Every now and then someone comes along with a really important study for our consideration. Hmmm... what took them so long on an Ass study? :)

This Ass? No. Read on...



Photo by gidibao @ flickr

This Ass? Maybe. Read on...



Photo by soozum @ flickr

There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty shocking:

1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.

2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.

This Ass? Take a look...



Photo by joeltelling @ flickr

3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.

Ah, Love! Body Awareness: Love Your Self; Love Your Ass. Works for me!

Written by Denny Lyon

Cheeky Quote Day! 13 May 2009

Cheek Quote Day 13 May 2009

Every Wednesday is Cheeky Quotes Day! over at another one of my blogs: The Social Poets.

From the ABC network show This Week’s host, George Stephanopoulos, comes his evaluation of the best cheeky quotes from President Obama at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner that raises money for charity by roasting the politicians.

Best lines from last night's White House Correspondents' Association dinner:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:

-"In the next 100 days I will learn to go off the prompter, and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter."

-"In the next 100 days our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat ... After all we have a lot in common. He is a person of color... although not a color that appears in the natural world."

-"In the next 100 days we will house train our dog Bo. Because the last thing Tim Geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant."

-"We had been rivals during the campaign. But these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and gave me a big kiss. Told me I had better get down there myself."

--"Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I do have to say, this is a tough holiday for Rahm because he is not used to saying the word 'day' after 'mother.'"


From YouTube, President Obama in two parts:

From YouTube, Comic Wanda Sykes:

Outragous: Want to Know How to Create World Peace?

From Denny: It seems our irreverant friends over at hacked.free-bsd.org have been quite busy solving world problems:

From The Onion: Nation Ready To Be Lied To About Economy Again

From Denny: These guys are always good for a laugh! Quoted below is their latest article about the economy. Check out their well-loved comedy site for more goodies. :)

From The Onion:

WASHINGTON—After nearly four months of frank, honest, and open dialogue about the failing economy, a weary U.S. populace announced this week that it is once again ready to be lied to about the current state of the financial system.

Tired of hearing the grim truth about their economic future, Americans demanded that the bald-faced lies resume immediately, particularly whenever politicians feel the need to divulge another terrifying problem with Wall Street, the housing market, or any one of a hundred other ticking time bombs everyone was better off not knowing about.

In addition, citizens are requesting that the phrase, "It will only get worse before it gets better," be permanently replaced with, "Things are going great. Enjoy yourselves."

"I thought I wanted a new era of transparency and accountability, but honestly, I just can't handle it," Ohio resident Nathan Pletcher said. "All I ever hear about now is how my retirement has been pushed back 15 years and how I won't be able to afford my daughter's tuition when she grows up."

"From now on, just tell me the bullshit I want to hear," Pletcher added. "Tell me my savings are okay, everybody has a job, and we're No. 1 again. Please, just lie to my face."

The national call for decreased candor began last month, after the Department of Labor released another soul-crushing report that most Americans agreed "wasn't helping anything" and "didn't need to be so specific, at least."

The report estimated that 663,000 private and public sector jobs were lost in the month of March—a revealing statistic many people found shockingly blunt. Responding to the new information, an overwhelming majority of citizens said they believe that, during these extremely uncertain times, our leaders have a responsibility to come together, sit the American people down, and lie through their teeth about everything from misappropriations of taxpayer dollars to the severity of the credit crisis.

"I don't need to be constantly reminded that the lack of regulations on Wall Street compounded with failing institutions like AIG basically plunged the world economy into a global recession," said 32-year-old office manager Alexis Harrington. "What I want is for someone to tell me with a straight face that the GDP is through the roof so that I can feel better and instantly forget what all these terms even mean."

"For the first time in my life I know who the secretary of the treasury is," Harrington continued. "And I don't like it."
Reluctantly informed citizens like Harrington have also asked that CEOs of the nation's five largest banks release a joint statement saying that the October bailout worked perfectly, normal lending has resumed, and that we're nowhere close to having the entire monetary system collapse upon itself like a house of cards.

According to a CBS News/New York Times poll, 98 percent of Americans no longer appreciate President Barack Obama's attempts to break down the economic crisis into simple terms they can understand. Instead, many say the president should have the decency to insult their intelligence by using complex jargon to confuse and deceive them, perhaps even implying that the subprime mortgage fallout was just a big misunderstanding that resulted from a clerical error.

"I know when he's telling the truth, and it bothers me," recently laid-off schoolteacher Mary Hanover said of Obama. "He gets this serious expression on his face and says things like, 'This is the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.' Who needs to hear that? For Christ's sake, smile a bit and say we just found a diamond mine under Montana that's going to pay for everything. I'll believe you."

"Please, treat me like a child. Treat me like a five-year-old," Sacramento resident David Cooke, 64, wrote in a letter to Congress. "I lost everything when the Dow tanked, and I'm too old to start working again, so why punish me further by explaining in detail the clever ways these investment firms ripped me off and how they're all going to get away with it?"

Thus far, many policymakers in Washington have responded favorably to their constituents' requests, saying they respect and understand the public's need for dishonesty.

"I think we can accommodate the American people on this," Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) told reporters. "Why, just today we made excellent progress with GM, whose CEO Fritz Henderson told us that every penny of federal and taxpayer funds would go directly to the construction of three new auto plants in Detroit that will create over 90,000 new jobs and spark the economic rebound we've been waiting for."

Continued Reid, "Things are looking very, very bright."

This Week's Roundup of Sunday Funnies: "Sicko" (Cinco) de Mayo, New Dem Senator

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? Suddenly Michael Jackson not so crazy, huh?

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: President Obama got exactly the gift he wanted, an adorable new senator [former Republican Sen. Arlen Specter]. I just hope he is housebroken.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: [Iranian President Mahmoud] Ahmadinejad complained President Obama hasn't been returning his messages. No offense, Mahmoud, but maybe he's just not that into you.

The Colbert Report

Steven Colbert: Republican Sen. Arlen Specter has contracted donkey flu. Folks, this disease is now officially out of control. Back in 2004 we thought we had it contained to the coasts and the cities, but then it mutated and tore through the country.

Note from Denny: For the folks outside of America so you don't miss out on the inside America joke: donkey flu is a code phrase for changing your political party affliation to the Democratic Party.

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: Biden isn't speaking out so much lately. Today, President Obama took some action. Did you see them together? Take a look. Duct tape. Look.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Jimmy Kimmel: We have the first president ever who knows how to use Facebook, but his staff can't use Photoshop. Here it is, here is Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty, and look what else we can do. We can see President Obama walking on the wing.

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

Ouch Category: How Do You Define the Different Generations?

From Denny: A funny email popped up in today's inbox from friend John C. Get yourself a grin and enjoy your weekend, everyone!

How Do You Define the Different Generations?

- The Silent generation, people born before 1944.

- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1962.

- Generation X , people born between 1963 and 1979.

- Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 2001.

Why do we call the last one generation Y?

A cartoonist explains it eloquently below... Learn something new!



From: Journal de Quebec, published 22 January 2008.

Now, make someone else laugh. Send along this link! And have a great day.

Video: Heineken's Funny Walk-In Fridge Closet Ad

From Denny: This is definitely one of my most favorite ads! If you have yet to view it, well, get ready to start laughing so hard you fall off your chair! there is nothing funnier than to watch grown men screaming in delight. Truth in advertising...

Heineken: Walk-In Fridge
by hourigan

Video: The Simpsons Theme Song Acapello

From Denny: This is so bizarre to watch a group of singers, imitating sound effects for a minute and a half - most amusing - and they are quite good too!

Blogger Interviews Porn Queen Stormy Daniels While Waiting on Jury Duty

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Been on jury duty since Monday and the days are getting longer so not able to post much. Maybe tomorrow will be a shorter day!

Looks like Cheeky Quote Day is sidelined for today. Will a true story of what happened to me today do in its place? I'm up for a second-degree murder case. Probably will sit around all day waiting to be rejected. That's what happened today after 10 hours of jury selection.

I did get to chat up the staff. Talked to a sheriff who the local news station had promised to interview about his time in Iraq but didn't - clearly he needed to talk about it - so as any good blogger with a journalism degree, well, I jumped on the interview, duh! He's with the Army 239th, an MP and just got back from Iraq a few months ago. He proceeded to tell me about what it was like serving over there.

Real sociable guy and it sure surprised me when he started talking but I figured it was good for him to get the stress out. I mean, how many warriors actually tell you how many kills? And worse, how many were Iraqi children, armed with hand grenades and ordered by their parents to come kill Americans? Sad but true tale.

While he acknowledged it was a tough decision to choose self-defense and claimed it didn't bother him, I figured it did upset him and that's why he was telling me all about it. Soldiers from many wars often start talking around me and I hear the most amazing stories of personal trauma.

It isn't always what people tell you as true but rather the fact that they are talking about something so horrific while claiming it doesn't bother them. Of course it bothers them, why else would they need to talk about it? I don't waste time judging, just accept and listen. Talk about a lot to process for them.

***

Now the highlight of today's jury service was going to lunch at a little eatery known as The Roux House. We noticed the local TV news crew outside, went in and there was a big commotion at the back of the restaurant. We peeked in and it turns out a new politician was announcing her candidacy.

Who was it? Turns out it's the porn queen, Stormy Daniels, who was the regular prostitute for years for Louisiana's Senator David Vitter. Yep! The former pro is running against her customer!

I found it amusing. On her way out she stopped to talk to everyone at the few tables and so I took the time to interview her about her candidacy. Turns out ABC News was there too. I asked some very easy questions to give her a chance to prove herself. I'll try to blog tomorrow about the interview. What a hoot! When was the last time you had the opportunity to interview a porn queen AND attend a bizarre event in the weirdest world of Louisiana politics? It was a definite two-fer! :)

Related articles by Zemanta

• Louisiana Voters Lukewarm on Vitter (politicalwire.com)
• Stormy Daniels, Porn Star And Potential Sen. Vitter Opponent, To Launch Listening Tour (huffingtonpost.com)

Girl Muffin Tops Still Baking in the Oven

From Denny: Yet another irreverant stab at American culture by our favorite sarcastic writer, Christoph Reilly over at his blog The Crusty Curmudgeon!

Here's an excerpt:

"Here in the expansive but not dilatent offices of The Curmudgeon, we have been most occupied with the notion of “muffin tops.” These are not the muffin tops that you eat (usually) or that they make Seinfield episodes about, but rather the human muffin tops displayed when someone wears a too-tight piece of clothing around their hips causing fatty tissue to “spill” over the top, like a muffin. Use it in a sentence thusly: “Wow! Check out the muffin top on that chick!”

Certainly men can have a muffin top too, but you and me, society and culture as a whole are only concerned with women. We admire them. We loathe them. We study them. We praise and criticize them. We paste their pictures in the trashy gossip mags and scrutinize them, and that’s what you do, sister. Men take all the flack, but women are the drive behind this physical examination of females. I have said in the past that by studying women you will learn about men, and more about our culture than you ever considered. So…let’s consider the muffin top.

The Heavy Bran Muffin or the Delicate Blueberry?

Obviously, heavier women are more easily “muffin topped,” (Can I verb that?) but any female can get one. Unless, of course, you are one of these ultra-thin runway models who are more androgynous than womanly, if you ask me,. How the fashion industry gets away with pushing this waif, half-starved, “scuse me mister, got a farthing so a girl can buy a bit of bread” image on us is beyond my comprehension.

Notice too that I have avoided saying whether the muffin top is good or bad. It is almost universally described as bad, as in “dreaded muffin top.” I, however, think the muffin top could go either way. Some women clearly should put some clothes on. But others…well, lets just say I am like the trained dog on a walk with his master, never leaving my “heeled” position, who suddenly sees a female dog with the sun shining in her fur, who cannot move, but simply cocks his head as if to say, “Huh?” Obviously, there are different degrees, and I have labored to show examples that are not too extreme.

Where the Muffin Top Came From

The term “muffin top” was coined by Kath and Kim, the Australian comediennes. The condition of “muffin toppedness” began during the late 60’s to early 70’s with the introduction of low-rise and hip hugger pants. They defied the true female form, which forced the skin and fat around her waist, back, and buttocks to spill out over the top. Women are supposed to have a little extra there. Add a crop top and you get the full effect.

Mercifully or not, depending on your outlook, the low-rise/hip huggers went the way of beehive hairdo, but as the wise old saying goes: remember – history – condemned – repeat. So low-rise pants came back, this time escorted by mid-riff tops. It was during the mid to late 90’s, but there was actually a theory behind it this time. The idea was to make the woman’s torso appear longer, and thereby thinner, than it actually was. And it all came from trying to adapt men’s pants to women.

Whoops, The Muffin Top is Born

Men’s pants normally have lower waists and men have naturally longer torsos, narrower hips, and smaller pelvis’. “Hey,” exclaimed the fashion industry, “let’s adapt men’s pants to women and then they’ll appear to have longer torsos too!” And so muffin tops were born. Fashion industry goes wrong…again."

For the rest of this funny article, go here.

Video: Squirrel Adopted by Litter of Kittens and More Oddities

From Denny: Keith Olbermann of MSNBC News updates us on his Oddball segment about the Hannity Waterboarding Challenge and then lauches into the latest oddities.

What are the latest oddites? An animal shelter places a baby squirrel in with a litter of kittens and Mama Cat just thinks one of her kids is stone ugly. A guy named Steve lauches a model rocket, yeah, but this model rocket weighs in at one ton! Take a look at what this hobbyist did.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Video: Hannity Volunteers to be Waterboarded

From Denny: Keith Obermann of MSNBC News commenting "another conservative talking big and living small" when Sean Hannity was challenged to whether he would accept to be waterboarded since he did not consider it to be torture.

Hannity claimed he would do it for charity. Obermann threw it out there he would give Hannity $1,000 per second that Hannity lasted under the torture and also demanded he be waterboarded for 183 times to fully understand the experience Hannity thinks is not torture. Watch the video to find out if Hannity was man enough to do what he claimed was no big deal.

Why is this serious video and serious subject funny? You have got to watch the video all the way through to the end to hear the incredible explanation of what goes on in the minds of these cowardly conservatives. It boggles your mind that anyone could be that stupid! Rarely do I accuse someone of being stupid but this kind of thinking really does take the prize...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Video: Is It OK to Kiss Pigs with the Swine Flu Outbreak?

From Denny: Keith Obermann of MSNBC News is always doing Oddball segments. Secretly he works for me knowing that my readers love those Odd segments. He really likes the title of this humor blog. Of course, the only source you have as to he actually said any of this, is, well, me. I am the American Oracle of BS so you decide.

This is an amusing video. What more dumb questions will people continue to ask during a pandemic?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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• Olbermann vs Hannity (krilefiles.blogspot.com)

Glomosexual: The Newest Micro-Sexual Sub Group?

From Denny: You will get a great snickering laugh from my friend, Christoph Reilly, over at his blog, The Crusty Curmudgeon. This hard-boiled New Yorker missed his calling and should have been a stand-up comic, yes, he is that irreverant!

Check out his latest funny ranting about Glowsticks and sexuality:

"Here in The Curmudgeon offices we are currently amused but skeptical. Sometimes, in my never-ending quest searching for what is new, different, and hopefully perverted, I came across this entry in the Urban Dictionary:

Glomosexual: a girl who uses glowsticks as a dildo. “Alicia got off whenever she looked at a glowstick, because she was a glomosexual.”

I kid you not. But is it real? Or is somebody pulling our collective glowsticks?

Now, I like the Urban Dictionary, but it must be taken with a grain of salt and a dash of humor. Like Wikipedia, it is written by common folk, and what you read there isn’t necessarily the truth. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t lots of truth there, just that you have to decide what is real and what is a joke. The Urban Dictionary can be very beneficial when you come across some slang you are unfamiliar with or one of those stupid LOL acronyms everyone uses now-a-days.

Just recently I looked up ROFLSCOMN, which translates to “rolling on floor laughing while spewing coke out my nose.” Ok, it doesn’t. I made that up, but I would appreciate if everyone started using it and let’s see if we can start a thing.

So let us examine this word, glowmosexual. We see under the definition that it was submitted by one Alicia Morgan. So we click on her name and it takes us to her other entries. They are:

Snowmosexual: Somebody who has sex with snowmen: “Alicia thrust the snowman’s icicle deep inside of herself in an act of snowmosexual intercourse.”

Debtorosexual: Someone who gets off on forcing people that owe them money to do sexual favors for them. “Alicia’s tenants owed her some back rent money, so she forced them to have debtorosexual group sex with her in order to pay it off.”

I found no other places which described or even used the word glomosexual that weren’t directly related to the Urban Dictionary. I think we can know assume it is not a real slang word, but one clearly coined by Ms. Morgan.

Does this anger me? No. It does not. It doesn’t piss me off because it’s funny. As for the possibility of using a glowstick for masturbation, so what? They have dildo’s that glow in the dark already. I have heard of women using a zucchini. Whatever yens your yang is my motto. I think Ms. Morgan (or whatever her real name is) would make a great date. She is one funny chick.

We could discuss my new word: Slowmosexual: One who records themselves having sex and then plays it back in slow motion, thereby making it appear as though they actually lasted more that 30 seconds."

To read the rest of your laughs, go here.

Photo by frodobabbs @ flickr

Ready Reference: Health News Links and Google Swine Flu World Map

From Denny: Considering how nervous people are getting with the growing negative news about the current (now global) pandemic of the swine flu outbreak, I've started a place of Health News Links and the new Google Swine Flu World Map above the posting area of my health blog, The Healing Waters,for your ready reference so you can stay up to date. As I continue to find more quality reliable news links they will be added.

Photo by Igor Zenin

The Simpsons Episode: The Good, the Sad and the Drugly

From Denny: watch this little naughty funny!